“Without abstinence, I probably wouldn’t have survived the summer”


21.11.2022, 16:1721.11.2022, 18:10

Carla Hermel / watson.de

Sido has already rapped about drug excesses on several of his hits. But when he married Charlotte Engelhardt in 2012 and had two children with her, this phase of her life seemed to be over, until the family idyll broke up in 2020, as Sido now revealed to the mirror. In the interview he put everything on the table and told his story of the last two years in which he almost committed suicide with drugs.

Been at a concert in August this year.Image: www.imago-images.de

Sido crashed after separation

As with many, the Sido accident began at the same time as the pandemic. Then “spirits” came, through which he became unfaithful. Later, his wife rightfully kicked him out, the rapper explained. So he fell back into old patterns and took a lot of chemical drugs, to the point of blacking out. He especially liked cocaine, and hard drugs always got him into a cycle of drugs and sex.

This was the case for a time, according to “Spiegel”, also confirmed by people from Sido’s environment. He behaved inconsiderately towards his family, being banned from several hotels and even failing to show up for his concert promoter’s funeral.

Earlier this year, fellow rapper Kool Savas and his ex-wife are said to have given him the impetus to accept help. Sido received a voice note from Savas emphasizing in a shaky voice that he was “really worried” about him. A little later, his ex-wife made an appointment to retire. Been explained:

“Everything got out of control. In the end I got stuck.”

epa05448346 German rapper Kool Savas performs during his concert at the Blue Balls Festival in Lucerne, Switzerland, July 29, 2016. The music event will last until July 30.  FLUEELER EPA/URS

Fellow rapper Kool Savas was also worried about Sido.Image: EPA/KEYSTONE

The clinic saved his life.

When she arrived at the clinic, her healing process began. It was a particular challenge to stay sober and therefore have to endure clarity. But that’s exactly what saved his life, the rapper now reflects:

“Without the withdrawal and physical check-ups at the clinic, I probably wouldn’t have made it this summer.”

However, as the craving for the drugs remained, Sido described withdrawal as just the beginning. What surprised him, however, was that he just had a drug problem. According to Würdig, since he is Sido’s real name, he also took on depression and narcissism.

Been “fucked up” with your kids

During his stay at the clinic, he also recognized the extent to which his own father, who had left him when he was two years old, had influenced him. He now he has admitted his father complex for the first time and has dealt with it.

According to Sido, the lack of a male role model also affected his role as a father. The victims of his story are his four children in particular. The rapper reported that he still resents his behavior, which he understands. He “fucked” with all of them, which is quite an achievement:

“Four children, four times fucked up. You have to do it first.”

However, in addition to his children, his marriage also suffered significantly from his addiction. He’s only been a divorced man for a few weeks, although he really wanted to live with a family. But he failed and maybe he just wasn’t cut out for the perfect family life, Würdig explained.

The new album is about the last few years.

On his new album, Sido now confronts all of this. Before, with the silver mask in front of his face, he would never have gone to therapy, he emphasized. Also not to offer a target of attack in the hip-hop business.

But now he didn’t care, he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. One of the songs is about an apology to her children. When he wrote this song, Sido reported that he cried for the first time in the clinic.

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I recently met an acquaintance who has been living in the US for the past few years for coffee. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The good has been completely redone. And, as I found out later, his daughter, who was also 20 years old.

Of course I saw my friend, let’s call her Mona, on her social media during her time in the United States. Of course I have seen her more and more free of wrinkles, her lips more and more full, her silhouette more and more narrow. I thought they were filters. Now I try not to look at her. “You look good,” she says. I have no idea what to say. “You too.” I lie. “Different, somehow.” “Yeah sure, we’re all getting old,” she says and smiles. At least she’s trying, I think. Yes, we are getting old, at least the parts of us that we don’t let optimize.

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